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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 215 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jul 8, 2011 9:30am PDT
world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jiewrtdment we each got a show for you tonight. thank you very much. we have a show for you tonight. i'm telling you, it is a show the pope would tweet about. my guest tonight is louis ck. very few of you know this, but the ck is short for [bleeped] [laughter] yeah, man. all day we're here writing, all day. but we begin tonight with news out of illinois. you may remember about a year ago former governor rod blah... [stumbles over name] toured the country promising he'd be vindicated of all charges. he visited the "daily show" where i made a promise to him. again, if you get off scot-free, there's a hug waiting for you. >> i'm determined to work even harder to get that. >> jon: well, tonight i have some very good news to report. i will not have to hug rod blagojevich. [cheering and applause] and here's why: >> in chicago today, the jury said guilty 17 times as the former illinois governor
Comedy Central
Jul 8, 2011 2:05am PDT
appears to be their closing arguments. >> jon stewart says he's both liberal and fair. is he really in >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> a closer look at why the comedian gets away at his one-sided attacks. >> jon stewart needs a lesson on truth-telling. >> why is jon stewart in denial about his liberal leanings? >> herman cain says comedian jon stewart was mocking him. >> here is an example of jon stewart's bias. >> jon stewart gets his view from the left but can't admit he's a liberal mouthpiece. >> herman cain on his feud with political sequester jon stewart. >> jon stewart breaks into his amos and andy routine to mock herman cain. >> jon stewart tries to disguise his true liberal bias. >> jon stewart says he's both liberal and he's fair. let's see how that's working out. >> jon: i guess everyone got the memo. [laughter] do you want to bring your whole network to the throwdown? you want to go channel 44 versus channel 45? obviously that's the channel configuration of time warner in the new york area, your local list
MSNBC
Jul 14, 2011 5:30am EDT
" from jerry seinfeld. we'll tell you why he slapped jon stewart right across the mug. first let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. here at 30 rock in new york city. >>> we start with some breaking news, where afghan officials say a suicide bomber has attacked a mosque in kandahar during a memorial service for president hamid karzai's murdered half brother this morning. at least four people were killed in the blast, including the head of the province's religious council. a second explosion was reported nearby the mosque, but no additional information has been released on that so far. we'll have more on this story throughout the morning as it develops. again, four people are killed at a memorial service for the half brother of hamid karzai, killed a couple of days ago. >>> back to domestic politics here. by the admission of the participants themselves, the budget negotiations between congressional leaders and the president have taken a step backward. today will be the fifth consecutive white house meeting to try to reach a deal on raising the debt ceiling. without a resolution in sight
Comedy Central
Jul 6, 2011 11:00pm PDT
with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to ge
Comedy Central
Jul 14, 2011 7:00pm PDT
" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's gaining traction in iowa. >> jon: what? why would iowans be so concerned about what happens three inches below the corn belt? [laughter] since the iowa supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 they've noticed real changes in the state's cash crop! [laughter] yes, their worst fears corn destroyed by a (bleep) playing. [laughter] a -- (bleep) plague. movie about iowa field of -- if you build it they will -- you know. [laughter] it's no surprising t
Comedy Central
Jul 27, 2011 12:40pm PDT
comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise ou
Comedy Central
Jul 19, 2011 7:00pm PDT
headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. our guest is daniel radcliffe. the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian with breed with a german. did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species of canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our top story tonight, of course, the debt ceiling. our ongoing segment. that is in no way hyperbolic as america mes closer to laying out a blanket in front of our garage and selling off all our old board games it has become clear that time for action is short. >> theate president says he wants an agreement. >> president obama set a deadline. >> president obama now says it's decision time. >> jon: snap, commander in chief throwing down a deadline.
Comedy Central
Jul 11, 2011 9:30am PDT
daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to the dail show. my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, dr. cameron diaz. that will make sense later on in the program. you will see. she has graciously agreed to perform a surgical procedure on... [laughter] on tonight's program. a quick word before we get going to the tourist community, to the visitors to this great land of ours. if you've been here eight months, you live here. you live here. you're not from venezuela. [cheering and applause] donde esta you're mine. seven years of spanish, all i remember. [laughter] donde esta. let's begin tonight perhaps in america, the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with let's say cinnabuns. [laughter] and yet we are nation besieged with problems, problems we must solve. problem number one, our gooey, rat-infested cinnabun-paved streets. why did we do that? that was a dopey material to pave our streets with. [laughter] we're going to need common-sense solutions to our problems if we're not just
Comedy Central
Jul 12, 2011 9:30am PDT
the dilley show with jon stewart -- the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on monday, maeld of honor winner on thursday. it will be, the largest character gap we have ever had. (laughter) >> between guests. denis was wondering how i was going to get him today. anyway, took last week off. and had a great vacation. went away completely unplugged. no news, no tv, threw my cell phone in the ocean which caused some problems later but at the time felt pretty great. so let's plug back in, what i did miss? >> the president is worrying that we have just nine days to raise the debt ceiling or risk default. >> the numbers of jobs created last
MSNBC
Jul 29, 2011 5:30am EDT
ready to get back to the tiger of old. plus jon stewart takes on the movie theme that we've been talking about so much about in the death debate. chuck schumer breaking down the plot of the town for us. that story and a check on weather when "way too early" on comes right back. >> i diane that frances take these phillip arthur george to be my wedded husband. ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new? ...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart. a vacation on a budget with expedia. make it work. booking a flight by itself is an uh-oh. see if we can "stitch" together a better deal. that's a hint, antoine. ooh! see what anandra did? booking your flight and hotel at the same time gets you prices hotels and airlines won't let expedia show separately. book it. major wow factor! where you book matters. expedia. >>> welcome back to "way too early." a dreary gloomy friday here in new york city. let's get a check of th
MSNBC
Jul 20, 2011 2:30am PDT
" treatment. you knew in was coming as jon stewart breaks down the proceedings most memorable moments, we'll show you what you missed. first let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. rupert murdoch and his son james appearing at a british parliament hearing to address that ongoing hacking scandal surrounding their company news corporation. the elder murdoch called this the most humbling day of his career. british lawmakers grilled murdoch for hours, but the media mogul insisted that he is not to blame for on the incident that brought down his tabloid news of the world. >> did you close it because of the criminality? >> yes, we felt ashamed at what had happened. >> do you accept ultimately you're responsible for the whole fiasco? >> no. >> you're not? who is responsible? >> the people that i trusted to run it and then maybe the people they trusted. >> the former ceo of murdoch's news international group rebekah brooks, she also answered questions in front of the committee yesterday. brooks offered a personal apology saying she was shocked by reports that journalists had hacked a teenage murder
CNN
Jul 3, 2011 11:00am EDT
news unloads on jon stewart in the feud that just won't die. media monitor is next. >>> closing arguments in the casey anthony murder trial began this morning and msnbc and fox news are taking it live, as is cnn's sister network hln. this tragic case, to me, is the most over covered trial since o.j. and i hate the way the media turned it in to a soap opera. the "new york times" media column tweeted if i were booking tv like bill maher the last person ever i would choose to be me. >> he stepped in it with these words. >> i think new jersey is more sophisticated because i'm from there. >> if it's missouri, no big deal. that's the sloping foreheads, the middle places. did i just say that aloud? >> yes. >> slow low sloping foreheads. carr got a lot of flak as a snob and he said the middle place that i come from i apologize for saying something so dumb on bill maher last night. it was a bad joke delivered badly. david carr is from minnesota. i doubt he's attempting to insult everyone who lives in the mid 'ole the country. >>> princess diana is digitally inserted to the royal wedding
Comedy Central
Jul 7, 2011 2:05am PDT
. also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah! i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal in florida and virgini
MSNBC
Jul 14, 2011 8:00pm EDT
ad that never aired is coming up. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gumline, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks. and it protects these other areas dentists check most. looks like the twins are even again. new crest pro-health clinical toothpaste. life opens up when you do. >>> so the whitey bulger case is a federal case. so there's one guy who is hoping for a federal government shutdown so they can't bring him to trial and the prosecutors don't get paid. >>> still to come tonight, senator ted kennedy's campaign team from 1994 found a way to sto
FOX News
Jul 1, 2011 2:00am EDT
first 21 minutes of the show. to give you perspective, jon stewart does six minutes. total time on air with guests, 22 minutes a night. our average without guests, all monologue, 42 minutes. jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television. i don't know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan. hi, pat. see. its easy to speak from the heart. its easy to do things when you actually believe them. we've done it with a remarkably small and dedicated staff and remarkably large and dedicated audience and we thank you for that. >> glenn: my whole world has changed because of the time we spend together every day at 5:00, this is the last program. i want to show you little things that because we've met, thin
Comedy Central
Jul 1, 2011 9:30am PDT
news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy? >> are we in the seven-second delay today? >> oh, lordy. >> i want to characterize how i thought the president behaved. >> we have it. we can use it, right, alex? >> yeah, sure, come on. >> go for it. >> i thought he was kind of a dick yesterday. ( laughter ) >> jon: mark halperin, senior political analyst, editor at large of "time" magazine just called the president a dick. and that wasn't like a spontaneous, like, can't contain myself,
Comedy Central
Jul 28, 2011 11:00pm PDT
, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans us
Comedy Central
Jul 20, 2011 7:00pm PDT
stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 215 (some duplicates have been removed)